Hey God, About that Baby!

Hey God, you know that baby that Mum brought home last week:
She said I need a playmate, but gee the kid won't speak!
He can't even kick my footy, or bowl my cricket ball.
I think it's a waste of time to bring him home at all.

Mummy used to play with me, and read my favourite rhyme,
Now we've got that baby, she hasn't got the time.
It's "just the baby's sleeping", or "must you make that noise?"
Or "mind you don't hurt the baby, don't touch the baby's toys".

Gran says "he's simply darling", she loves his eyes of blue,
I'm getting tired of all this female "coochy coo".
If he burps, he's a clever boy, if I burp, I'm just rude.
Mum says I'm displaying a jealous attitude.

Mum says, "you've got to learn to share, you've got a brother now"
So I shared my sardine sandwich, and gee what a row!
How was I supposed to know a baby doesn't chew,
He's got no teeth, gee what a kid, there's nothing he can do.

So I asked my Dad to change him, maybe for a Pup,
Now Mummy's in there howling, and Dad can't shut her up.
What's the good of babies, they don't know how to play,
And I have to tippy toe around, "Cos baby sleeps all day".

So now I'm in my bedroom, because I cause a fuss.
Gee God! Why did you send that kid to live with us???